Howdy y'all!!! Oh, so much to talk about, I's just don't know where to begin! Ok, well, the tour is over. The 'Merica one, anyway. I's guessin we're goin to other countries like Tokyo, Paris, and L.A. next month, but I ain't too sure bout that. Anyhoo, the tour was nice. Peoples are nicer to us folks this time round. My momma came to see us in Florida and Tulsa. We's took Ezzie to Disneyland on them teacups and whatnot. I reckon he liked it, I dunno. I love my momma. Now that I's a mom too and am older, we gots lotsa thangs to talk about. Like our kids and how we both lost our virginity to my daddy, Jimbo. I love talkin about sexxin daddy. Sometimes momma gives me pointers on how to please a man. Says its how she kept daddy from knockin boots with skirts outside the family. When she was in Tulsa, she showed me how to break that little plastic thing I put in my cooter (I reckon it's called a "diagram"). Said if I's do it right, Tay won't never divorce me and will love me forever. My momma's so smart and beautiful. I hope I'm half the lady she is. She's accomplished so much in her life. Was the peach-tree queen when she was 17 and did a year at Cowetta Community College, on top of bein mine and Matt's momma. You just don't find women with that sort of class and motivation these days. Cept for that Oprah Winfrey lady, but daddy says she's a koon so she don't count for nothin and if it were up to him, she'd be pickin cotton in a field where she belongs.
I's miss Walker. He don't call me no more. I saw him some on the tour, but he didn't seem to wanna sex me as much. I still reckon he's sexxin Kate. And I reckon Kate's sexxin that Frankie Muniz feller. I don't trust Frankie. Daddy says he's a dirty spic like that Jennifer Lopez heffer. I dunno though. He seems nice to me. But daddy's smarter than I is. Afterall, he's not only the grand wizard of the Sharpsburg KKK, but he helped me figger out a way to gets Tay to marry me. Sometimes I wish Tay was more like my daddy, but he ain't. Oh well, least he's rich and can show a girl a nice time. He don't mind givin me money to eat at Golden Corral and shop ats Wally World. Good man.
I's so sad. I miss Georgia. It's huntin AND Nascar season. This time of year Daddy would take me and Matt to the Atlanta speedway where we'd tailgate and watch 'em races. You know, before Tay, I was thinkin of sexxin and havin babies with Dale Earnardt Jr. But I's changed my mind when his daddy died cuz there ain't no fun in wedding a guy who ain't got no daddy to knock boots with.
Ahh well y'all. I'm gonna go switch my no-baby pills with tic-tacs, but I'll see y'all later.
Your Sweet Lil Peach,
Natalie <3 <3