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We at Sincerely, White Trash are in NO way associated with the real Hanson family, nor do we claim to be. The sole purpose of this journal is for the amusement of its writers and readers... All material is copyrighted and protected by law. So if you're feeling a little naughty, be prepared for the consequences, asshole.
Oct. 27th, 2004 @ 08:43 pm It's huntin season and Tay don't wanna kill no deers.
Feelings: blue
Sounds: "Redneck Woman" - Gretchen Wilson
Howdy y'all!!! Oh, so much to talk about, I's just don't know where to begin! Ok, well, the tour is over. The 'Merica one, anyway. I's guessin we're goin to other countries like Tokyo, Paris, and L.A. next month, but I ain't too sure bout that. Anyhoo, the tour was nice. Peoples are nicer to us folks this time round. My momma came to see us in Florida and Tulsa. We's took Ezzie to Disneyland on them teacups and whatnot. I reckon he liked it, I dunno. I love my momma. Now that I's a mom too and am older, we gots lotsa thangs to talk about. Like our kids and how we both lost our virginity to my daddy, Jimbo. I love talkin about sexxin daddy. Sometimes momma gives me pointers on how to please a man. Says its how she kept daddy from knockin boots with skirts outside the family. When she was in Tulsa, she showed me how to break that little plastic thing I put in my cooter (I reckon it's called a "diagram"). Said if I's do it right, Tay won't never divorce me and will love me forever. My momma's so smart and beautiful. I hope I'm half the lady she is. She's accomplished so much in her life. Was the peach-tree queen when she was 17 and did a year at Cowetta Community College, on top of bein mine and Matt's momma. You just don't find women with that sort of class and motivation these days. Cept for that Oprah Winfrey lady, but daddy says she's a koon so she don't count for nothin and if it were up to him, she'd be pickin cotton in a field where she belongs.

I's miss Walker. He don't call me no more. I saw him some on the tour, but he didn't seem to wanna sex me as much. I still reckon he's sexxin Kate. And I reckon Kate's sexxin that Frankie Muniz feller. I don't trust Frankie. Daddy says he's a dirty spic like that Jennifer Lopez heffer. I dunno though. He seems nice to me. But daddy's smarter than I is. Afterall, he's not only the grand wizard of the Sharpsburg KKK, but he helped me figger out a way to gets Tay to marry me. Sometimes I wish Tay was more like my daddy, but he ain't. Oh well, least he's rich and can show a girl a nice time. He don't mind givin me money to eat at Golden Corral and shop ats Wally World. Good man.

I's so sad. I miss Georgia. It's huntin AND Nascar season. This time of year Daddy would take me and Matt to the Atlanta speedway where we'd tailgate and watch 'em races. You know, before Tay, I was thinkin of sexxin and havin babies with Dale Earnardt Jr. But I's changed my mind when his daddy died cuz there ain't no fun in wedding a guy who ain't got no daddy to knock boots with.

Ahh well y'all. I'm gonna go switch my no-baby pills with tic-tacs, but I'll see y'all later.

Your Sweet Lil Peach,
Natalie <3 <3
Oct. 27th, 2004 @ 08:24 pm Does anybody like Jet?
Feelings: cheerfulcheerful
Sounds: "Cold Hard Bitch" by Jet
Cause I do. "Cold Hard Bitch" is the ultimate song. It reminds me of myself, naked and covered in petrolium jelly, dancing on a pool table for horny frat boys. God, my life is good. Except for Natalie and Ezra. They ruin it for me! Had it not been for them, I would've been ruling the world by now. Stank bitches... I'm going broke. Dead broke. Like, have-to-shop-at-Charlotte-Russe-instead-of-Prada broke! Ughh. *gets pissy*

So, who likes my new glasses? I look cute, don't I? I don't know why I decided to get them. I don't even need them. I just got inspired one day. I was watching that movie, Unfaithful, with Richard Gere and I couldn't stop thinking of how stunning he looked in his glasses and thought it was time for me to test out the waters of bifocaldom, so to speak. So I went to Family Dollar in the Bronx (where Natalie got her boots & Ezra's fanny packs) and boom! They they were, like disco lemonade. $4.99. Best five dollars spent in my life... next to the anal bullet I bought in Greewich Village the day we arrived back from the tour. That's missing though. I think Isaac stole it. That whore!

Well, it's getting late. Natalie is in the next room singing Ezra to sleep. It never seems to work though. I dunno if it's her accent or the fact that her lullabye of choice is Lynyrd Skynyrd's (look, I can spell it right all you asshole fans!) "Free Bird," but something isn't working. So I'm going to go grace my child with my angellic voice, then make Nat toss my salad like the good wife that she's not, then it's off to bed for me. :o) Sweet dreams my beautiful people. Smile, Taylor loves you. :o)

Cold Hard Bitch, Always Shakin' MY Hips,

PS: Does anyone shop at Wet Seal? Know if they carry thigh-high, stiletto boots? Cuz somebody told me they did...
Oct. 25th, 2004 @ 12:41 am (no subject)
Feelings: flirtythe preachers wife was horrible...
Sounds: Robyn - Show Me Love
Diana is scum. She "planned" a date for us, hired a babysitter to take the kids remaining out to some dirty kid place and leave the house to us. I'm thinkin it can't be that bad, cuz daddy's gonna get some poontang....think again fucks....no, we watched the Preachers wife..she tells me that she wishes she could be whitney houstan and I tell her to fuck off, she's a rich, white woman married to the sexiest beast on earth and she's bitching wanting to be a fucking black preachers wife, who is in reality a cokehead who is married to a man who slaps her around, atleast I give my wife an allowance...she wouldn't hear of it. So, I said goodbye to the poontang and watched this bullshit. My class has been over for weeks now and I still get the fan mail, some death threats, but all are appreciated i know you all love me...and for those of you who think you hate me, you don't..you just want my nuts, my looks and most of all my cash. My kids are growing and leaving me...its sad, but only because I don't control the finances anymore...I wish kids stayed kids for that sole reason. Money in the wrong hands can give inexperienced people unneeded power and happiness that belongs to me. Any money now, that is not in my hands, is in the wrong hands. How did Avery get so ugly? I'm convinced she's the milkmans...what the fuck? Anyway, god forbid that illegetimate child read this I'll stop. On to better things...my fuckin face, my ass and my wallet. My hands are nice I've noticed...and I dress so hot...but I think a lot about my most appealing feature (get that one Zac?), and it would have to be my ankles, the beautiful slope and the arches and the structure in general is simply better than anything on my body...kankles are disgusting, Diana has them...I noticed the other day in the pool and won't fuck her anymore. But, back to me...yeah my ankles are so humpable and my stomach...I have abs you know. My money is so fucking awesome, my most favorite companion, my confidant, my soul mate, my best friend, it only speaks the words you want and need to hear. I have a cough, it sucks. I'm choppy tonight I know, can't really think clearly...I keep thinking about this blow job I got from Kate one night during a show and we never did it again...she wanted too, but her ears beat the shit outta my balls...I don't know how they reached but I think I'm impotent. And if I find that I am, she can expect a lawsuit...she would have raped me..not only of my self-respect and self-esteem...but of my money...if I cannot produce children...I will be that fuck in china town living in a refrigerator box with a hole for a door and the name "cocoa" on the side...and I swear to god, Diana will be prostituting for me. Alright I need some beef jerky, night buuuuuudies.

yours to hump and suck,
Walker (fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme) Hanson

holla Slutand$loverforu@hanson.net
Aug. 18th, 2004 @ 12:15 am (no subject)
Feelings: flirtyI don't wanna babysiiiiit!!!!!! Noooo
Sounds: some rugrats shit
oooh my GOD!!!! I did not have children to babysit their children god DAMNIT...I had sex one cuz it rocks my peepee and two....you guessed it fucks, MONEYY!!! So when my nasty rapunzel wife asks me to watch HER grandson, EZRA I get pissed. I only fuck natalie (and Taylor) I MEAN, I don't babysit little teredactyl shits, the poor ugly thing...Oh my god, I just felt bad for something. I honestly don't think it's my grankid, for Christs sake...I have VERY strong genes and this thing is digusting...and I'm sorry but I am not. Anything stemmed from me cannot be gross like that. Anyway, onto better things...Kates ears. Holy shit...I was frenchkissing her neck and asking her who her daddy was (Georgian girls like that one guys ::WINK:::) and I noticed them, well they started flapping really...so they noticed me first...I was a little frazzled, when she put her hands over them and JESUS CHRIST...OH MY GOD, they're HUGE and painted like trans. what are my sons thinking? Isaac is the smartest one, fuck them all and claim none. He is mine. I can't even believe what this family is coming to...what am i going to do? I need some feedback on these issues. I mean, someone PEASE tell Diana to cut her hair and that we're not menanites...I mean, if we were...we would NOT have an androgynous son, a son who is fucking another man and a whore of a son. We wouldnt be whoring our kids either...not to music or to little girls who like to suck walkers peepee (ooohhhh yeeeeaaaahhh behbeh). (Just a noteto all of you wondering: Avery is Not I repeat NOT mine...all you would do is have to look at her to know....she is definitely in some major need of sugery to the face...and if she were my kid I would give it to her...but since she's not, ahh well) So as you can tell I am dissapointed in all of them. And I beg someone to buy our family tour buses why?!?! (I know for money but they think it's for them), and I spend my hard earned cash on them for studio time etc etc why?!?!?!??!?!?!?
(i know it'smoney but they think it's for them). I have been raped by my family. I am used and abused by all of them. Diana wants another one....HAHAHAHAHA does she not know that her ovaries rotted a looooong time ago? Oh my my my why god...why thou forsaken me? My family are my thorns, my whips my chains....my money is my savior..my messiah, my liberator (especially on tuesday nights when I go to Club Cheetah and spend my singles on a
hot moma..a naked one) I need to start reading, you know how much of an intellect I am....I need to read some Tolstoy to make my mind right again right old beans? I wish I were cuban man...because then I could abuse everyone and not be abused... Why am I a white man?!?! I am cursed and underpriveleged. I've read the bible many times...and i pray all the time....why am I hated by God? Besides my beautiful physique...God has given me nothing...does he not know that I cannot take this beautiful body with me when I die? Does he know my friends?!?!? Does he?!!?! My money fortunately can travel through different planes...because it is a supernatural being. Rappers don't lie my friends, they don't, and they never had businessclasses. I'm telling you, my sign of the zodiac is Scorpio you know (my birth month is lying) I swear I do rule the house of sex and money... My genitals are fertile and fresh and they love money. They like to roll in it with daddy. Kate wants me to buy a record deal or try to convince Taylor (she doesn't know that Daddy walker is the boss) that she can sing. She doesn't how lucrative the instrument on her head is...I could make millions by blowing into those ear...its portable conk. In the form a slut wannabe model....Damn I'm a genuis, I can't handle it..and I'm not giving this credit to God..It is mine alone and for no one to rape or ravage...because my mind is a terrible and dangerous thing to waste. The creativity flowing from my brain cells give me orgasms. Howard Stern heard about this and is BEGGING me to come on the show, his annoying black co-star won't stop calling my house and Kate answered while we were fucking and thought she was giving Kate a record deal with Def Jam (cuz she's black and most likely a rep) Anyway I'm rambling like an old man...and soon you will think that I don't own 9 and HALF inches but I do...so I will go and you can fantasize about me.

love sexy sexy sexy sexy Walker

p.s. PLEASE talk to me dirty at slutand$loverforu@hanson.net ..I'm in the need for some "cybering" and pootie-tang pie

Jul. 26th, 2004 @ 01:35 am (no subject)
Feelings: flirtyfuckin tired
Sounds: One of my own recordings
So, we're on the road, well, my sons are on the road. As long as I keep sending those girls that I'm paying towards Ike to sleep with him (HAHAHA riiiiiiiiiight, like you thought he got those on his own...you fucking gullible prick) and Natalie to keep nagging Tay, and of course the She-man to keep up with Zac's growing pecker...the money is still in my hands. This past week I had to go to the mutha-fuckin mountains and help this guy with his porch, I guess being the Godfather can be a bad thing when someone one does a fuckin favor for you. That's the fucking LAST time that I ask a man for the ugliest girl in the US to get knocked up by my so, the last time. My group is no more, after those cock-bastards who sued me for no reason...I couldn't go on sharing my secrets, especially when I'm being condemned for them. It's ok, when I write in my Christian journal (I got it from the inspiration house, it's green like money) I tell myself that every great person was condemned for their convictions....Jesus, Socrates, Clinton....I mean, the greatest men on earth have been hated for their intelligence and vast knowledge. I know that when my family sees me, they see Jesus, they see a man who loves money more then anything and would be crucified for its existence...I'd save a single if it were the last single on earth. Diana is a fuckin loser, sometimes I think she hates me for being so great. I mean, she doesn't have the looks I do, the money that I have, the charm that I have or the awesome physique that I have been so graciously blessed with, so, when I combine all of these wonderful qaulities...I see a jealous wife who can't stand the fact that I'm great, and she's not. Tay is getting hot again, I mean, he's lookin like a fucking girl and it's grossin me the fuck out. I'm thinking of buying a gold grill, Kate says she likes that in a man, she says that it displays wealth and courage...who knows though. Anyway I'm getting tired, I hate you guys as always and I hope you have miserable lives. Peace out

Walker F-n Hanson

you know you want THIS

CMon behbeh email me at slutand$loverforu@hanson.net

rock my fucking jesus thorns baby...
Jul. 23rd, 2004 @ 11:36 pm Natalie Anne Hanson: SUPERSTAR!
Feelings: accomplished
Sounds: "One Night (Una Noche)" - 98 Degrees
Hey y'all. We's still on the road. Havin a good 'ole time! ...I's been thinkin an awful lot about what I said in thelast entry, 'bout me bein a rockstar since I's married to one and we's unified 'n all. It's really sinkin in my head that I's famous. I mean, I always knew I'd gettin pregnant by a celebrity, but I just never realized that'd make me one too. I talked to Taylor bout it when we was at McDonald's the other day. I said, "Tay baby, since you's got so much 'sperience bein a rockstar, can you coach me and tell me bout the ways of the rock n roll world?" 'An he chewed his burger for a few more minutes then looks in my eyes 'an says "what?" I don't think I spoke it well, so I had to explain what all I meant. Then after he was all quiet 'an eyein me for a few minutes, he said, "well Nat, being a rockstar comes with a whole lotta r'sponsibility." So I says to him, "oh but baby, I IS ready! I's more ready than you'll ever know." So that day he gave me my first list of rockstar duties. First, I carried some boxes full of t-shirts into the place where they was singing. Then I took the trash out on the buses. When they was inside doin a sound check, I asked him if I was gonna get to sing that night. "Sure," he said. Told me he'd call me up on stage when they was ready for me... But he never did. :o( When we got back on the bus, I asked him why he didn't. He stammered somethin 'bout not reckonin what I was talkin bout and went off to sign some fans' titties. I was poutin for a little bit and I think he felt bad, so when we was on the road, he sat down by me and said he was proud of how I well I did my rockstar chores and that I should finish the ones on the list. So then I scrubbed the bus toilet, did Tay's laundry by hand in a wash bucket, and sucked his pickle. When all my's duties was done, he clapped for me and said I was on my way to winnin a Grammy and that I's probably on my way to gettin so big, I'd have to leave him and have a tour all my own. When I laughed and said I'd never leave him behind, he mumbled somethin under his breath, drank a bottle of Smirnoff, and went to bed... He was tired.

Well, we's gonna be in Ohio tomorrow. I can't wait. We's stayin at Comfort Inn Suites! I's so excited cuz Walker once said that when you stay in a hotel with "Suites" in the name, it's gonna be one of them fancy schmancy places that have porno channels and clean bed sheets. WHOOWEEE! Daddy'd be so proud if he even knew the life I's livin!

Peaches & Tongue Kisses,
Jul. 13th, 2004 @ 01:16 pm Big Wheels Keep On Turnin...
Feelings: excitedexcited
Sounds: "Maria" by Alan Jackson
Hey y'all! We's on tour again! I love it. We just left this cute little city in Rhode Island, called Delaware. I never heard of it before, but then again, I sucked my geography teacher's pickle to pass that class. I loves being on tour. It's so fun, travelin everywhere, and carrying big bags around so someone else has to look after Ezra. Kate's with us too. We stay up all night on the bus and in hotels and have a slumber party, like we did when we was in middle school. You know, back when we could only dream of trickin Hansons to marry us. My Lordy, we are so blessed. I remember bein a bitty little thang, kneelin at the foot of my bed, and askin God to make my ovaries fertile so that one day I could get pregnant and land me a Hanson boy. God is good. All the time... Anyway, I think Kate's been tryin to get herself a bun in the oven, but the doctor's said she's too skinny and can't carry a baby. Zac don't want no baby though. But she wants to get in while the gettins good.

We gots lots of money again. The boys just made a deal with some car company to use their song. And we've been doing good sellin stuff, too. Tay says that when get off tour, he's gonna take me to Red Lobster. I gots to admit, I's really starting to like him more. Walker's been on the tour here and there, but he keeps away. I think he's sexxin fans. Or maybe still Kate. Tay don't sex fans, I don't reckon. Speaking of sexxin, I miss Micah. Me and him sexxed a lot on the last tour. One time we sexxed in the balcony at the House of Blues in Chicago. I think maybe Tay caught on and didn't invite him back. But maybe too, Tay just don't like the competition. Tay likes to always be the purtiest boy and it ruffles his feathers if he ain't.

Zac makes me want to throw up. The only thang he's good for is watching Ezzie and boot-knockin Kate. He's got this big herpie on his lip. I didn't wanna say nothin, but I thinks he got it from Kate. I remember back in high school, she'd get those on her mouth and her cooter every few months. When I asked her what they was, she said bee stings, but I think she was just embarrassed. And I don't know why she would be. We's been best friends for years! And I told her that time I gots the clap! Ah, well...

The fans love me, like I's Jesus or somethang. They's all watch me and ask for my autograph and picture. They's so jealous that I gets to sex Tay fer free and they gots to pay money just to hear him play on his piano thangy. I feel sorry for em really. Most of 'ems fat too. Like Wynona Judd... I guess I's sort of a rockstar though. When we's got married, Reverend Thompkins said that now we's one person, so I guess I's a musician and rockstar too. Maybe them girls wanna sex me too? I bet they's do. Ah well, the life of a rockstar ain't easy. I's gonna go titty-feed Ezzie (and Walker).

Tongue Kisses (like daddy taught me),
Jun. 1st, 2004 @ 09:58 pm (no subject)
Feelings: flirtystuffy and horny
Sounds: Selena- Bitty bitty bum bum
so assholes,
It's been a while...sorry for the "haitus", life has been busy. You know, regular shit....watching mah boys make some hard earned money (my hard earned money), it does suck that Zac is 18 now, I can't even mooch off of his shit and he doesn't believe me anymore when I tell him that 'daddy's name is on the check'. Diana is being alright, she's giving me the silent treatment, it truly is wonderful...funny to say when our marriage is slowly but indefinitely falling apart. Life is rough, but the cash is still rollin in, which makes for a sweet feeling in my heart. My class is in shambles, 3 couples are sewing me! The FUCKING nerve of these people. The truth is they don't have the balls to steal from their own children, so they have to take my money because I'm no one to them... and after all I've done for them! I can't believe it. Oh well. I am truly tired, I've been jacking off all day and I have no strength left in my hands, Sorry mah G dawgs. I will talk to you l8ta ( <---- Nat taught me that one...you know to be 'rad' like Avril) Alright G's PEACE

Love for money and sex, but mostly money,
Walker 8inch DICK Hanson

p.s. EMAIL ME PLEASE at slutand$loverforu@hanson.net...im despereate for some cybering.
Apr. 23rd, 2004 @ 11:56 pm I's a Beauty
Feelings: calmcalm
Sounds: "And The Thunder Rolls" - Garth Brooks
mood: bored
music: "And The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks
Well, not too much is a-happenin up here in New York. I don't like it. The folks here are mean! Just yesterday I took Ezzie to that park down yonder and some bum tried to mug me. He snatched my pocketbook, so I said, "lissen here, mister! I's Taylor Hanson's wife. If you take my purse, he's gonna throw a hissy fit!" The guy didn't listen though and got away with it. Ah, well. That's what I get for moving to a town with so many colored folk. When I told my daddy I was a-movin' to New York, he told me to stay 'way from them niggers, but I didn't lissen. Oh well.

Kate called me Wednesday. She said she saw me on on the box, on that VH1 thang. She says all the boys from our highschool says I's still as lovely as the day I left cuz I was a-knocked up. She liked my boots. Everyone does. People think just 'cause I's Tay's wife, that I wear expensive clothes, but they's dead wrong. I actually got them boots at Family Dollar in the Bronx. That's where Tay makes me do the grocery shopping cuz he says groceries is too damn expensive in Manhattan. Haha, he's too much. I guess I's gettin used to livin with him and his brothers. Isaac don't like me I don't think. I cooked them some Macaroni 'n cheese to celebrate the release of the new album and he poured his right down the sink in front of me and said he was goin downtown to pick up some take-out. (That's another problem. There's too many chinese folk up here. I don't trust them neither. My daddy always told me never to trust anyone who don't look you in the eyes and they's eyes is too squinty to do that.)

I still miss Walker. We talk on the phone an awful lot still, but not like we used to. I think he's sexxin' Kate. She's been acting awful funny. I mean, I known about Zac's little pickle, but I's didn't think she'd do somethin like that! Oh well. I's sort of happy with Tay. He makes me laugh. He's so darn clever. Just the other day he told me how if you mix blue and yellow, you gets green. He's a true artist. Sorta like that Money guy who paints them water flowers. I think Walker's a big fan of his cuz he's always a-talkin' bout "Money" in his journal entries. Oh Lordy, I do declare, how I miss that man... But I's gonna stay on my best behavior though. Cuz Tay promised to take me to the Toby Keith concert next month at Madison Square Garden if I didn't embarrass him too much.

Well, I think I's gonna go. They's got some purty bath rugs on the Home Shoppin Channel, so I's gonna take Tay's credit card and order some to fix up this place. Night y'all.

Your Georgia Peach,
Apr. 5th, 2004 @ 11:14 pm (no subject)
Feelings: flirtytired and thinking of sex and money
Sounds: Ricky Martin- She Bangs
Hey skanks,
Today was alright...slow, but alright. Diana decided that she was "horny" today (it's a fucking miracle)..but alls I could think of the whole time was Tay making the others work for the money that I earn. Where the fuck is it? And all she wants to do is slowfuck with candles, what's that bullshit? I kept thinking about that everclear song, I don't quite remember the title but I know it was on the So Much For The Afterglow lp...Damn that rocked. I'm not going to discuss my class tonight because I'm dissapointed in a few couples. Alls I am going to say is this: Randy and Michelle...BIG mistake, you think I'm insane, well FUCK YOU. Your kids will suck you dry and you deserve every penny being stolen from your wallets (even though I should do the penny snatching) ...haha (snatching) Funny word...reminds me of.....something. Anyway I've been updating the most lately and I like it, It shows that I work the hardest on expressing my feelings and thoughts. It especially helps me release my praise and worship on my all time favorite thing. I don't even have to say that sweet word, but I will, MONEY. I mean, It does show that I work the hardest...which means that I should earn the most money right? ....GOOD ANSWER. I've been ditching the phone calls with Natalie, Diana has been snooping so it's been too risky. LMAO she thinks Tay is cheating on her with someone (she doesn't know he's been doing it with his brothers for years) so anyway, Tay, Cheating, HA. It's me you crazy rapunzel fuck...me and your daughter-in-law. HAHAHAHA I have money and I'm cheating. DAMN life is sweet. And all was granted to me by my money damnit. And if you don't believe me, just ask me. I should give testimonies on the street (like that Coolio song says..thugs by the streetlight) Anyway i think that's what it says, it SHOULD say it. I love rappers...they love and respect money almost as much as I do. And they have GOLD teeth, how PIMP is that? Damn. Damn. Damn. I looooooove myself. Alright crazy wawrdies I'll be back soon.

The pimpest muthafucka on Earth,

p.s. I need a GOOD lay. So hit me up if you think you can satisfy a brotha. at slutand$loverforu@hanson.net